It was with a little trepidation that we found ourselves at the location of the afternoon's class. There were about 12 couples there, a few women on their own and Steve and I found ourselves on the last two chairs together on the front row. I recognised one girl from the hospital tour but that was it.
We started with a talk from a midwife on how you give birth, with a handy pelvis and a newborn sized doll (the ugliest thing ever) complete with fabric umbilical cord and beanbag placenta. The doll was then thrust through the pelvis and had it's head turned to the right position with a creak that made the room giggle and groan and we were demonstrated the breech position, back to back position and the nice and helpful right way round position.
Then we were asked to show hands for those watching 'One Born Every Minute' and pretty much all the women there sheepishly raised their hands! And a talk began on the forceps from last weeks episode and the pulling and the yanking. The midwives had said they couldn't believe that the forceps were shown on TV as they did look scary. Major scary.
Then we were told we were having a quiz?! Hmm. I had to type up the questions and our answers as Steve's amused me (and he thought he knew everything already!)
Labour and Delivery Quiz
Q1 – How do you know when labour has started
Kate – when pains commence
Steve – when contractions begin
Q2 – What is a show?
Kate – the release of the mucus plug
Steve – Didn’t know, gave a grimace at the answer.
Q3 – Why is a warm bath recommended?
Kate – Eases pain naturally and relaxes muscles
Steve – Relaxes
Q4 – What should you do when you go into labour
Kate – Ring the delivery suite
Steve – Didn’t know
Q5 – When do you go to hospital
Kate – On your waters breaking or when pain gets too much
Steve – When in full labour at about 5cm dilated!!!
Q6 – What is a TENS machine
Kate – Pain relief using electric waves
Steve – A Tennis machine? You play tennis?
Q7 – How does entenox work?
Kate – Inhaled at the start of a contraction for pain relief
Steve – It gets you high
Q8 – What is pethidine
Kate – A strong sedative
Steve – Didn’t know
Q9 – What is an epidural
Kate – A spinal block to numb from the waist down
Steve – A spine injection to disable the body
Neither of us were correct here!!
Q10 – What is a CTG
Kate - Wasn't sure
Steve – Wasn’t sure
Q11 – What is induction
Kate – a kick start to commence labour
Steve – when baby was told to come out
Q12 – What is an episiotomy?
Kate – A vaginal cut
Steve – Didn’t know - gave a grimace at the answer.
Q13 – What is an assisted delivery?
Kate – where forceps or venteuse are required.
Steve – Where someone helps deliver the baby
Q14 – How do you know when to push?
Kate – You’ll have urges and need to follow midwife’s instructions
Steve – When you’re told to.
Then we had to go round the room and each take it in turn to answer a question! Steve got question 4 which he had no answer to (and it was quite an important one too!!) so I was nice to him and let him look at my answers so he didn't look too silly in front of the other Dad's to be!! Each question was then discussed and we could ask more questions which was nice.
The epsiotomy led to lots of questions from Mums and Dads and we were all comparing the information to 'One Born Every Minute'. It seems I'm not the only one finding it compulsive viewing!!!
Then a discussion on water birth arose and when the midwife commented that the parents will scoop the baby out of the water rather than the midwife, the fellow sat behind us just exclaimed loudly 'What?!' and announced his partner wouldn't be having a birth pool if that was the case!! I must admit it did surprise me too. What if the baby is really slippery and got dropped back in the water?!
And an epidural!! Eww! I thought it was an injection in your back. Apparently not. It's a fine tube inserted in your spine (and it was passed around to view and I felt a bit queasy thinking about it) and you have to have an IV in your hand (gag) and can't be as mobile. It can also lead to forceps thus an episiotomy as well. I think that would have to be a last resort for me. I couldn't bear to have a tube in my spine or hand, it'd make me feel very queasy.
After the questions had all been dealt with, we settled back to watch a very old 1980's birthing film with lots of big perms and bad make-up!! We saw (up close and personal) two births and the whole thing. It was gruesome. Part of me would rather not see to be honest, but oh well.
Next class is next Wednesday. Same time, different place and I think it's about Parenthood! Exciting.
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