Bump Bonding

I don't know whether it's just me and the way I am, but I'm not a touchy feely sort of person at the best of times, and I've certainly not become a bump hugger at all.  I pat it and scratch it when I feel a nudge/pain in the ribs but I've not talked to it yet.  That makes me feel a bit silly.  Steve tried talking to it, but he put his mouth to the bump and made whale noises.  I'm not sure that would have helped anything at all.

On the babycentre forum there's a thread someone began which talks about how other mum's are getting rushes of love and emotion when they think about their bumps.  Does it mean I'm a terrible person for not?  I'm rather more practically minded I think and prefer to get things ready and packed and I know it makes me a Martha rather than a Mary but I want to meet my baby for real.  It's all a bit unreal whilst inside me.

Somedays I'm more excited than others for sure, and it's normally when I've slept better and feel rested, but I'm being kicked incessantly and I'm happy to admit I'm finding it strange and a little uncomfortable.

I'm hoping that on delivery, when I see the little man I'll feel the happy hormones but at the moment, I'm not weeping with joy over my stomach at all.

It's all feeling rather overwhelming this week.

I am feeling a bit scared about the whole labour thing now though.  Come Sunday it's third trimester time and it's all very daunting.  I've never had to go to hospital before so it's all going to be strange and different.  I'm worried about the lack of control I'll have over myself, coping with the pain and worrying that it'll all be ok.

Steve and I were discussing delivery last night.  He has no thoughts or opinions on any of it.  I asked if he felt I ought to have an epidural or pethidine at all and he didn't know the difference.  I said that he ought to at least research it a little and have some thoughts and not assume everything will go well in case he has to step in and make decisions!!  You know, as the husband and father.  I suggested that we put off having visitors until we've had an hour or so just the three of us.  He doesn't mind either way.  Tch.  Honestly.  Men.

And after the labour we have a human being to bring home.  That's making me want to swoon a little.  A real live little man to look after who's entirely dependant on us.  Crumbs.