These past few days I've had been so very tired, and with Steve being out early each morning this week, even though I'd been up 4-5 times a night with feeds, and teething troubles, I still had to get up at 7am and be cheerful and fun as if I just lay on the sofa trying to nap, it would mean Joel wasn't getting quality time and that makes me feel terribly guilty, as though he has to have the best of me as much as he needs.
I was getting to the point of swaying on my feet Wednesday morning, and was able to nap from 8.30 - 9.30 when Joel did, and also fell asleep alongside his afternoon nap which seems to have helped regulate me back to almost normality.
I just don't feel that I can zone out and ignore his needs. Even watching the television I don't tend to do unless he's feeding or asleep as I'm playing or talking to him. I don't like leaving him unattended and to be honest, he likes to know I'm watching what he's doing and he responds so well to attention.
I'm sure I'm being rather over zealous, but I can't imagine being so tired I can't interact with him yet! Steve seems to manage and dozes on the sofa whilst Joel is in his jumperoo, but he loves jumping for you rather than for no-one!
I guess I just want to do the best I can for him and I can't be anymore!
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