Ouch...

Today has been what I would possibly call the most sucky day of the year for me.

To begin with, I'll start with yesterday.

My period was a day late, so I took a test.  It was positive.  I was thrilled to think that Joel would be a big brother next year!  I looked up dates online and it estimated that baby could be due around the 27th January adn that I was 5 weeks pregnant.  I was too excited, and told my sisters and parents.  Steve wanted to tell his parents in person so we didn't ring them as we're seeing them next in June, plus it still felt very early to tell too many folk. 

Wednesday was a happy day.

Then Thursday came along.  I had my job interview.  I decided against mentioning the test, as it was very early days and I didn't know what was going to happen.  I thought that if I got the job, I'd mention it at that point, but there was no point in spoiling my chances before then.

Anyway, it was the fastest interview I've ever known.  Looking back, it felt a bit as though they were just going through the ropes.  They weren't intested in looking through my portfolio of certificates and other things.  The three panel members asked me three questions each and showed me the door.  I was still hopeful but they rang rather quickly to say it had gone to someone with more 'reception experience'.  Oh yes, and I was 'an outstanding applicant'.

I cried as I felt I'd let Joel down, not being able to work part time really sucks.  I thought that I'd be able to go on maternity leave in a few months and spend lots of quality time with Joel that way instead.

Then later that afternoon I went to the loo, and there was blood.  I tried not to worry as I know a little can be normal, and part of the implantation process, but I went to bed with crampy pains, and in the night that was the end of that hope too.

I shall call this experience Eggbert I, and see whether Eggbert II comes along soon.  I hope so.  I shan't let this put me off trying again!

I don't really know if I'm meant to do anything or nature is sorting me out.  When it happened to my sister, she saw a Dr who tested to make sure things had cleared, but I'd not even gone to tell a Dr about the positive test yet, that was meant to be today.  Needless to say I've not bothered.

I'm very achy, and feel very sad.  No new baby, and no new job.  24th May 2012 was not kind to me.