Mixed Bag

So here we are.

My last week off with Joel.  He's actually at nursery today but I might collect him a bit earlier than normal.  I'm technically on holiday at the moment having begun work on the 5th March but it's nice to be paid to be at home!!

I'm not sure how I feel yet about everything.  It's all very strange to think that on Tuesday I'll be heading back to the office.  On Tuesday and Wednesday Joel will be going to my parents for the day and on Thursday he'll be at nursery.  I only have three days to work before the Easter holiday and we're heading down to Kent for the weekend to see Steve's family there.

So three days is not too bad is it?  I'm sure I'll be ok with that.

But then it's not the going back to work that's the issue.  It's the missing Joel and missing his cute face, and funny smiles, his first steps and just having a lovely time with him.  It'll be someone else having the lovely time with him.  I'll just have a photo on my desk to see him.

Is it worth it?  I'm not sure.  But I know he'll be fine.  He seems to really enjoy nursery and he loves my parents and playing at their house.  And he'll have tea and play time here after work.  And there's the walk to and from work we'll have together.

I just wish that things had gone my way and that I'd been allowed to go part time.  August is ages away and I can resubmit another application on the 24th.  But I'm a full time worker until then at least.  I don't think they could turn me down a second time.  That would be awful :(

I also hope I don't get used to the extra money and being back at work.  This month on getting my first pay slip in months I went out and bought a stroller (Maclaren Techno XT!) a new vacuum cleaner (as our old one gave up the ghost and we've had it fixed once already for £35 and paying a second time for fixing is silly when a new one is only £70) and I bought Steve a new outfit and myself and Joel a new outfit, and some eye cream.  And that's it for now!  We're going to use my wages to start some savings towards the house and for Joel's future.  It was nice to have a day of spending lots of money though.  It's been a while since I could.  I'd also like to get a new toilet seat.  Wild aren't I!!

Anyway, this week is all about Joel and getting the most out of the time we have together and I'm enjoying every day, especially with this sunshine which feels as though it's been sent to ensure we have a nice time together!  And we have the weekend, and then Monday.  We'll do something special on Monday like visit a farm and look at baby animals!  And I'll treasure the memories.